“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Actively Participating in Happiness

Happiness: The ‘art’ of being happy is all about actively participating in your choices.

Amazing, isn’t it?  We know we want to be happy but often lack the knowledge of how to get to that point of actually being happy.  When I signed up for being certified as a Master Life Coach one of the courses I had to take was on ‘Happiness Coaching’.  Being happy isn’t something that happens TO us.  We manifest this through mindful action, direction, influence and choice.  To be actively participating in happiness we take steps to a joyful life.  Now, that’s a great title: Actively Participating in Happiness: Steps to a Joyful Life.  Think I’ll keep it.

When looking for happiness we consider 6 areas: 

DEFINE:  If I want to tackle a project, a problem or figure something out I NAME it.  Defining what it is you are doing brings you clarity on your why. You can literally ask ‘why’ until you can no longer ask it because you’ve clarified your issue .  Let’s look at this example: I hate my life.

• • Why? I never have time for me or my family.
  • Why? I’m always working. 
  • Why? My job requires me to do that. 
  • Why? We’re understaffed.
  • Why? The pandemic burned out so many people that I’m really one of the only ones qualified to do my job who shows up.
  • Would you feel better if you worked less or had a different job? I like my job but I don’t like my boss or how much time I have to spend working there.

ASSESS: Look at that last answer: I like my job but I don’t like my boss or how much time I spend on working there. 

• • We assess through basic questions like:
    • How many hours per week are you expected to work?  For this example, let’s say 40 hours per week.
    • What is the policy on the work week? Employees are expected to clock in at 9am and stay until 5pm. Overtime has to be approved by your supervisor.
    • What is the policy on asking or planning for time off?  Staff shares a calendar for planning at the beginning of the company fiscal year for planning but otherwise 2 weeks notice is required for time off unless it is an emergency and is documented as such.
  • What typically gets in your way of asking for time off? Eeeh, things come up with family and I haven’t planned for it in January when the calendar is going around.

REFLECT: Reflection is a really useful tool for anyone looking to define their role or influence in any issue.  We further refine and clarify why we may not be happy or what is getting in our way.  Reflect means many things but in this instance to reflect means to really look at things and you are honest with what you SEE.

• • Possible work based reflection questions to ask: Do I like what I do? Is this job a ‘calling’ or is it a way to earn money for my family? Who am I at work and how good am I at my chosen activity? What do I want/not want in my life?
  • Possible personal reflection questions to ask: Is my priority where is needs to be in regard to family or work? If not where do I want it to be?  What role do I have in my own feelings about work?  Do I make things easier or harder on myself?

CONSIDER: Considering is a part of reflection.  We look at our past and how it forms our beliefs and habits. 

• • Do my thoughts reflect my current work environment? Culture? The wider mindset around me? 
  • Do my memories, my personal feelings or beliefs impact how I approach this issue?

ASK: And, we continue to clarify by being real about ourselves and the way we approach problems.  At this point we are in many ways coming to solutions that involve planning but we first need to ask good questions about the future.

• • How am I wired to deal with things when they go well? Wrong?
  • What are my absolute needs, desires and deal-breakers?

UNDERSTAND: There are things about ourselves that we have to admit. 

• • What role does my mood play in my happiness? 
  • Am I planning too much at once?
  • Are my expectations not in line with what I have defined and reflected on?
  • Do I get in my own way when I am problem solving?
  • What is my part in my challenge?  How have I made it easier or harder on myself?

Those areas will go a long way toward helping you find what brings you happiness and joy. Whatever your angle for finding happiness, I believe it is a worthwhile pursuit.  Actively Participating in Happiness: Steps to a Joyful Life!

Julie