Learning How Your Child Communicates and Regulates

Let’s talk about this video by RM Videos/shared from YouTube. What a sweet little one!  There’s a great lesson here when we are looking to understand our child.  At three years old children are just learning how to communicate.  Most of their communication is through actions-which is why you see so much laughing, jumping, stomping, screaming or crying (to name a few).  Behavior is a function of communication.  We use it to show others how we feel.  With young children it is their first form of communicating with others.  It’s basic, isn’t it?  It leaves out reason.  It’s all emotion.

Having an emotional child is not a bad thing.  On the contrary…now you know that they’re telling you something.  The challenge is really in two parts.  First, teaching them how to REGULATE.  That’s a biggie.  Regulating is part of this big set of skills called the Executive Functions. At the age of 3 a child is just beginning to learn how to regulate their emotions.  Parents can do different things to help their child learn to regulate.  

What I really like about this video is that this child’s parent is mentoring her through this emotional overload.  He’s actions are saying ‘I see you’, ‘I hear you’ and ‘I want to help you move through this’.  It’s fantastic that he’s complimenting her and noting how she’s using a learned 

skill (breathing) to calm down and also acknowledging that it’s not quite working so he’s asking if there is something else she can do to help lighten her mood.  Input.  He’s helping her to TRUST herself that she has the tools to help herself feel better.  Bravo, Dad!!!  Children need direction on how to be, yes, and they need the support from the adults around them.  This little gal will have great regulation skills as she continues to practice them mindfully under the mentorship of her parent(s).  As she develops this skill she will add it to many others.  Will this lessen her struggles?  Not necessarily, no.  Life happens.  We go through things and have to feel all of the feels.  What it will do is help her brain to become resilient to struggle.  She’s going to be a power house 🙂

What things do you do to help your child get back into balanced emotions?  Leave me a comment on what you find helps best with your little one!

Talk to you soon!